Algorithm

I feel trapped in an algorithm. More specifically, in an algorithm stuck in an infinite loop. An infinite loop happens when the response to a conditional statement routes back to the higher nodal decision making level thus bringing the algorithm back to the conditional statement. If the default, or only possible response to the conditional statement is the one that routes back to a higher level, the algorithm keeps repeating itself over and over again until a loop break is introduced.

I think I badly need a loop break.

This algorithm I’m stuck in, it’s unnatural. And the scary part, is that even though I know it’s unnatural, I tend to accept it as completely natural. I have been conditioned from the very beginning to believe that order is the way to be. Chaos are nothing but problems. Maybe it’s not. Maybe we didn’t get that part right.

Order is only to keep things bound. To keep things bound and keep the algorithm going. Because the algorithm has to go on. It’s like a cogwheel in the cosmic charade of a master thinker. We are not even pawns, we are lesser than pawns. We are the insignificant speck in a gigantic chessboard.

That’s why the outbursts don’t matter. And oh, have there been outbursts! Many a thousand created a loop break and escaped their ever-repeating algorithms which they saw was superimposed almost exactly on another one, which was on another one and on and on to 7 billion algorithms.

They flew above and around the cornfield of human algorithms and created literature, music, cinema and whatnot. And all this was original and brilliant. Shards of these literature and music and cinema and whatnot fell on to the self replicating(through mindless fornicating) human algorithms. They slowly seeped in and was absorbed by some human algorithms. It got into the system and created extra lines of code which shat out cheap and numerous rip-offs of the imagination of the free beings.

The shards of original imagination and the outcome the extra lines of code shat out has hardened the structure of our algorithms.

I badly need to break out.

Stimuli

Whenever I’m chemically altered, I sit down and think. That is, unless someone or the other interrupts my train of thought. And in some of those occasions of contemplation, I think about the infinite nature of human experience. Due to the varied nature of stimuli present in our environment, the permutations and combinations are infinite. Even in a relatively small sample group of say, 10 human beings, the difference in experience regarding just one particular stimuli will be sizable since it is highly influenced by the rate and number of other stimuli. For example, when I read a book, the way in which I relate to it, or the way in which I understand it will be vastly different from the way someone else relates to or understands it. And this is because me and the other someone have been exposed to different stimuli at different rates up until the point of reading that book.

Thinking along this line, it is nearly impossible for two human beings to have the same experience out of a single stimuli. It is highly unlikely that two human beings would have been exposed to the exact same combination of stimuli even in the rare case that they had been together since birth.

The reason for this could be that a significant portion of the stimuli that shape our experience is personal. Yes, all stimuli are interpreted and perceived in a subjective manner, but there are some basic stimuli that influence our experience which are a result of genetic accidents. Like the size of our body parts. And it’s undeniable that these basic and personal stimuli have a defining role to play in establishing the foundation of our experiential pyramid.

Identical twins is an interesting example of human beings with similar foundation of experiential pyramid and are together since birth. It just goes on to prove that even if the foundation of two human beings’ experiential pyramid is the same, the variety of impersonal and external stimuli are so large 

that their experiences are sure to be molded radically different.

But in spite of the mathematical near impossibility, it’s rather interesting to see human beings acting like a wretched herd. A herd in which there are no individuals, but ideals. They are desperate to relate even slightly with someone who is similar to them in negligible ways. This rut that the human civilization has fallen into (from the earliest of civilizations mind you) has been explained away as a natural process that has happened with evolution. Human beings are so certain that evolution has got everything figured out right, that nobody even thinks of questioning it. Evolution can fuck things up! It’s a part of nature and nature is always fucking things up. It has been since the very beginning. Providing a sustainable habitat to the cosmological blunder we call “Life.”

And who says trains of thought must be properly concluded? Fuck you!