Friday, 31 August 2012

On Being Nobody

It seems I am having a prose streak that which is rather personal. For this is the second consecutive prose piece I’m writing and the last good poem I wrote was nearly four months ago.

Anyway, onto the topic. On Being Nobody.

First off, it's not easy. Everybody -- well, almost everybody -- tends to be somebody. Somebody with some uniqueness. With some sort of individuality. It is very difficult to shed the shell of your self. But believe it or not, being nobody comes to me as easily and naturally as breathing.

I am a regular guy. To be frank, I am so regular that I tend to belong to to the lowest possible rungs of mediocrity. I follow a routine that is as monotonous as it can be. And by doing so, I miss out the variety that life has in store for me everyday. True to my self description in this blog, all I do is "I read, I listen, I think and I write." Nothing more, and most certainly, nothing less.

I suck at the art of making friends. In fact, I suck so much so that at times I wonder if I produce a pheromone of some sort which repels people. Just as how I have written in one of my earlier poems, Reflection, people befriend me fast but then, soon, they drift away. Or maybe it's me, I am not entirely sure. In the 18 years I have been alive and thriving, I've made a pathetic three relationships which I can say with some certainty, are friendships. It has been over a month for me here at EFL-U and still I haven't found someone to call a friend.

Which brings me to my next point.

I don't dream. It seems that I don't have the ability. The reason why I decided to join BA(Hons) English is really laughable. English was the one and the only subject that I thought I could study after +2. In deciding so, I never thought of what I would do after the degree. I lack a strong, hard-core passion in one particular area. I'm more of a surface guy. A jack of all trades, but a master of none. A cynic who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing. A layer of dust. Flimsy.

This is another reason why I alienate people fast. I don't have any common interest to share. And thus am I left, forever alone.

I don't live. I exist. But sadly, my existence doesn't matter to anyone or anything but me. Remove the entity labelled Vysakh from the paradigm of this universe, and nothing, not a single thing, would alter. I'm like a sheet of glass, held against the Sun.

It often makes me wonder, that who will cry when I die???

Friday, 17 August 2012

One day at EFL-U

This is the first time I'm posting something personal in my blog which is not a poem. My usual routine, and moreover, a general day's routine in my new campus, the EFL University.

The day starts at 6:30 (for me at least!) when I wake up automatically due to some weird bio-chemical tuning in my brain. I would love to write that I wake up to the twittering of birds, or even, to the shrill sound of the alarm but sadly, I usually hear snores the first thing in the morning.

By 7:30 (still listening to deep snores) I'll start the day's voyage with my most favourite companion of all, my bag. Although others laugh at me and my bag saying we are Siamese twins, my bag never leaves my side. I love you bag.

With my bag I'll be off to my regular tea-stall outside the campus. The "manager-cum-cook", a man with a rather bushy moustache but a pleasant smile, gives me my usual. Either four hot, steaming and golden pooris or one large, round and crisp masala dosa. Always without chutney and with an extra serving of sabji. And he always has spare change, be it for 100 rupees or 500.

After breakfast and a strong coffee from our Govinda's Cafeteria, it's newspaper time. The reading room, which is open 24X7 is my most preferred haunt after breakfast. Unless of course, I get an urge to check my Facebook updates in which case I'll go to the computer lab which, again, is open 24X7.

By 9.00, its time for classes. I have classes where we don't study, but discuss. We don't learn but we interact. Although it's too early for me to judge my classes, I'm starting to enjoy them nonetheless.

By 1:00, its time for lunch and I'll be off either to Nissi Chapathi Center, or Govinda's Cafeteria where I'll have an affordable (read -- pretty cheap) lunch. But then again, I shouldn't criticize two of my most accessible sources of food.

That's the end of academics, unless we have our Espanol  classes. We have them thrice a week and as of now, they are fun. !Hola!, ?Como estas?, Muey bien, Gracias.

With that begins another day's non-academic hours. In simpler words, Free Time. It seemed a bit too much in the beginning but trust me, now its barely enough.

One can visit the library which spans three floors and is open till 8:30 in the evening. Finding a book in there can be a daunting task in itself even with a full fledged computer catalogue. You will literally get lost among the numerous book shelves in each floor.

If you're not the booky type, you can always take a stroll through the campus, sipping a hot coffee from our Sagar Stores. The walk, amazingly, never gets boring, especially if you have a friend by your side.

One can also play cricket & football in the Ground (read -- small patch of land) or badminton in either one of the two courts.

If you're still not entertained enough, just go out. Explore. Hyderabad is your's to discover. It will never fail to amaze you each time you travel.c Although, it is advisable to have some Hindi in your arsenal if you want to get along without hassles.

Once the night falls, the campus comes alive. Bathed in the golden glow of sodium lamps, it is a beautiful sight to behold.

You can relax in one of the parks, go outside or take yet another walk through the campus. From Sagars' down towards the teacher's quarters, circling the hostels and on towards the Admin block, the New Academic Building and back to Sagars' passing in front of the library. You shouldn't be scared if you hear howls and yells from the New Acad Building. They are no banshees or ghouls. Just the Theater Club carrying out their regular practice sessions.

If you continue your walk well into midnight after having dinner, you may even have a cup of tea from the Midnight "T" stall along with bread-omelette.

The campus, it seems, never completely sleeps. If you were to go out at 3 in the morning, you will for sure find a lot of like minded folks.

The best part of being at EFL-U is that you will never be alone. Be it your friends or books or even one of the many dogs found in the campus, you are sure to have company. Always.

This is a little universe within the four campus walls.

Monday, 13 August 2012

Breaking Free

For many-a-days, idle remained,
My pen and my book of poems.
For I was at a strange new place,
Far away from my home.

I was thrilled, also scared,
Eager, but also worried.
For never, was I spared,
Of the surprises that I met here.

I was free for the first time ever,
But so was I alone, anxious and cold.
Days seemed to go on forever and ever.
And I missed my home, my room and more.

A poetic block (!) wrapped around my soul,
Making it shiver in its gripping hold.
To break free of which, I have to be bold,
And find, I did now, an escape of some sort.

My old sheen, I haven't regained,
Which, in time, I'm sure I will.
And once again will I start to write,
Merely looking over a window sill.